Shame by Jasvinder Sanghera addresses cultural barriers for South Asian Women
- aneel chahal
- Mar 12, 2021
- 3 min read
With women's month underway, I thought it appropriate to do my first post in March on one of the books that have influenced and inspired me the most. Shame is an autobiographical text detailing a Jasvinder Sanghera's struggle through cultural stigmas that oppress women, as well as showcasing her strength and capability. This book is a vital read for everyone to understand the difficulties women face within their communities and within the wider context of Britain. I finished this book within a few hours and spent the remainder of the day reeling in an awkward mix of awe and horror at how much Sanghera has overcome.
Jasvinder Sanghera is the co-founder of the charity Karma Nirvana that supports victims of honour-based abuse and forced marriages.
I read this book almost five years ago in college, but returning to the text- slightly wiser and more experienced in life- I was struck by the intensity of the issues Sanghera discusses, and how they remain prevalent today despite the fourteen years following this book's publication.
Sanghera exposes the ingrained sense of shame and fear that is invested within women, particularly Asian women. But she also invests an effort to explain the mentality of the older generations having been immigrants, used to small and poor village life, that encourages their beliefs on how women should behave.
Her main concern was always that we maintain the family's good name and grow up to be good daughters-in-law who were respectful, subservient and knew how to cook. (Sanghera, p.10)
After fleeing an arranged marriage, Sanghera built herself up into an incredible and inspiration individual. She raised her children, creating a safe environment in Karma Nirvana, and put herself through A-levels and university has me ashamed of my own laziness. If you want to read a book on a strong, real woman I couldn't recommend a better book. After reading this, I promise you, you'll be tightening the laces of your trainers in determination to complete whatever task you've been neglecting.
In tribute to the matters of forced marriage, honour based crimes and domestic abuse I decided to do a bit of research in order to bring about some awareness. I believe this is a much more useful and productive contribution on this platform.
First and foremost, honour crime is defined as
"an incident or crime involving violence, threats of violence, intimidation, coercion or abuse (including psychological, physical, sexual, financial or emotional abuse) which has or may have been committed to protect or defend the honour of an individual, family and/or community for alleged or perceived breaches of the family and/or community’s code of behaviour." (Government, 2020)
Honour crime is an umbrella term for actions committed in the defence of honour. It can also include attempted murder, manslaughter, procuring an abortion, encouraging or assisting suicide, conspiracy to murder, or conspiracy to commit a variety of assaults. All of these crimes are punishable under British law.
In 2019-2020 the police recorded 2024 domestic related crimes. However, many crimes go unreported by victims because of the stigmas of fear and shame attached to seeking help outside the community. I would like to reassure you that speaking to the police is your right. The police have a duty to protect life.
Sanghera explains the need for communication and understanding between social institutions (the police, government, universities and medical practices) and the wider public. Sensitivity and patience are vital to help aid women who have been isolated and indoctrinated for the majority of their lives. After being told the thing and behaviour in one way, breaking away from those toxic environments is incredibly difficult.
After doing some research into the issues Shame highlighted, I was appalled to learn that young women of South Asian origin are at high risk for suicide and self harm. There is a desperate need for preventive strategies to help these women. Awareness is the first step. Mental health is ignored and treated as non-existent within South Asian communities.
I've put down a few links to some useful websites should you need any help or want some more information:
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